Women and Sexual Temptation: Learning to Talk about Lust
- Kelly Needham kellyneedham.com @ www.crosswalk.com
Helping Women to Fight Lust Well
Because of my hidden struggle with lust over the years, I entered marriage with a wall of shame around my sexuality. I had no category for good sexuality that is part of God's design. Yes, I knew it was good in marriage, and I knew I wanted to experience it. But since I never heard other women wrestle with such struggles, the fact that I longed for sexual experiences made me feel dirty and gross. So now, as a married woman, how was I supposed to jump into this without shame, to pursue sexuality freely?SEE ALSO: The Most Revolutionary Thing a Woman Can Do
Fighting sexual sin must start with understanding the purpose and place of our sexuality. The same is true for understanding the purpose of food in fighting gluttony. Or the purpose of money in fighting greed. Food, money, and sex are not bad in and of themselves. But an improper use of them, for the wrong reasons or in the wrong ways, is sin.
So what is the purpose and place for our sexual expression? The Garden of Eden is the location of the first moment of pure and shameless sexual expression. In Genesis 1, God commands sexual expression: “Be fruitful and multiply.” And in Genesis 2 we see it is natural and normal for a man and wife to be sexually intimate, “they shall become one flesh,” and that this carried no shame at all, “the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” This reminds us of two important truths:
- Sex is good.
- Sex is for a married man and his wife.
When I talk to single women who struggle with their desire to be sexy, to be romantically desired, I first remind them, “If God gives you a husband that will be such a gift to him and to your marriage!” This prevents the attachment of unnecessary shame to the desire for sex and upholds it as a gift of God for marriages. Knowing these truths can give women the courage to talk to God about their desires and struggles and to fight sin without unnecessary shame.
Biblical discussion about sexuality can also prevent women from carrying shame into marriage. It can prepare them to be sexually confident wives who understand the purpose and place of sex and to enjoy it appropriately in God’s good design. They can then use it to serve their husband and live in healthy oneness with the man God has given them.
Chase the Greater Good
God is the source of all good gifts. If sex in marriage is something you see as desirable, how much greater is the Giver of that good gift! He is enough for the long-suffering of unfulfilled desires. He is the greater good. Sex, like food, is pointing to the greater reality of Himself. Jesus said He is the Bread of life. He is what good food is pointing to. Paul said the mystery of sex is talking about the unity we have with Christ. Union with Christ is what good sex is pointing to.Turn your energy to chase after Christ with all that you have. In the meantime, keep creating a safe space for women to confess their struggle with sexual sin, so God's daughters might find repentance, healing, and restoration in this area. And that through the power of the gospel, we might become more equipped servants of our One True Love.
This article originally appeared on ReviveOurHearts.com. Used with permission.
Kelly Needham hopes to persuade as many people as possible that nothing compares to simply knowing Jesus. She is married to Christian singer/songwriter, Jimmy Needham, whose ministry of sharing the gospel through song takes him all over the world. After spending many years traveling with her husband as his road manager and violinist, Kelly came off the road to be a full-time mom to their two young daughters.
Image courtesy: Pexels.com
Publication date: December 9, 2016
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