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The interview is itself also a chance to observe a couple doing something that research shows is good for marriage: reminisce together as they look back on their relationship.
You and your partner need a similar worldview
Yet, despite how often we hear about the importance of good communication, even the best communication skills won’t help a couple that sees the world completely differently.
One of the texts used in the course, Will Our Love Last? by Sam R. Hamburg, argues that people can be incredibly proficient communicators, yet never see eye to eye because they simply can’t understand how their partner can hold a position they see as untenable.
“For people to be happy in their marriage they must be able to understand not just what their partner is saying, but the experience behind the words,” writes Hamburg. If partners are unable to do that, “they cannot understand what it’s like to be their partner—to understand their partner empathically - and the best communication in the world won’t help.”
The instructors teach students that once they learn to identify what is important to them, what values they hold, what they like to do on a daily basis, and what their sexual preferences are in other words, once they know who they are , they will then be in a much stronger position to be able to recognize when they are with a partner who is compatible and shares their worldview.
Ben Eisenberg, who majored in learning and organizational change at Northwestern, took the course last year as a senior, right after the breakup of a long-term relationship. He found it enlightening as he looked back at his past and towards his future. “Pairing up with a partner is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in life, more important than some of the other things you’ll learn in college,”
He mused. Among other things, he learned to recognize that the more aligned you are on certain crucial dimensions such as day-to-day compatibility, or whether you are on the same wavelength about larger issues
The better off you’ll be as a couple. He learned that all the communication skills in the world won’t help if you haven’t learned how to recognize and invite in a compatible partner. “How similarly you spend your day, your money, how you view the world, greatly affects that day-to-day happiness with your partner, more than whether you have initial attraction.”
If a person is self-centered and not really concerned which how to live with with another person - then most likely there will be a sad and bad relationship! = Seek the Best of a beloved marriage, by seeking the Truth of Learning\how to live with someone in the state of Marriage - which is what God wanted from Marriage upon this earth!
